Tiger Woods' (Alleged) Voicemail For His (Alleged) Mistress

MISS TLC SAYS: Usually I dismiss this kinda stuff right away as CLEARLY fudged and fake, but I don't know... this one seems pretty real.....

Elyse Keaton Is Gay (Poor Steven)

Yahoo's gossip site OMG just reported that 62-year old Meredith Baxter has confirmed she is a lesbian...



MISS TLC SAYS: WHAT WOULD ALEX P. KEATON SAY?!?!?!? (After all... he was a Republican. ;))



For your listening pleasure, I give you... the amazingly soothing and romantic Family Ties theme song:



What would we do baby???

Chart Chat

This week's top 20 albums:


1. SUSAN BOYLE "I DREAMED A DREAM" 700,779 units sold

2. ANDREA BOCELLI "MY CHRISTMAS" 217,569 units sold

3. ADAM LAMBERT "FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT" 198,466 units sold

4. RIHANNA "RATED R" 180,890 units sold

5. LADY GAGA "FAME MONSTER (8 TRK)" 173,515 units sold

6. LADY GAGA "FAME" 151,393 units sold

7. MILEY CYRUS "TIME OF OUR LIVES EP" 149,663 units sold

8. TAYLOR SWIFT "FEARLESS" 124,601 units sold

9. CARRIE UNDERWOOD "PLAY ON" 123,870 units sold

10. NORAH JONES "FALL" 110,150 units sold

11. MICHAEL JACKSON "MICHAEL JACKSON'S THIS IS IT" 108,121 units sold

12. NEW MOON (TWILIGHT) "SOUNDTRACK" 104,100 units sold

13. JOHN MAYER "BATTLE STUDIES" 92,153 units sold

14. JUSTIN BIEBER "MY WORLD" 90,755 units sold

15. SHAKIRA "SHE WOLF" 89,061 units sold

16. VARIOUS "NOW 32" 76,019 units sold

17. MICHAEL BUBLE "CRAZY LOVE" 67,840 units sold

18. GLEE "VOL. 1 - GLEE - THE MUSIC" 67,650 units sold

19. 50 CENT "BEFORE I SELF-DESTRUCT" 65,783 units sold

20. BON JOVI "THE CIRCLE" 54,363 units sold


* Holy. Moly. Susan Boyle is THAT loved?!?!?!?! I knew she was a media sensation last summer, but I wasn't sure she'd be able to follow up with gigantic U.S. sales. Boy, was I wrong. A debut of 700K units your first week out as a new artist is HUGE nowadays. Man, those American Idol/America's Got Talent/Britain's Got Talent shows really know what they are doing. Between past and current sales darlings Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Daughtry, Jennifer Hudson, Clay Aiken, Leona Lewis, and now Susan, they are raking in the dough.

* On that note, Adam Lambert also succeeded in his sexy media stunt by debuting at #3 with a very respectable number in almost 200K in sales. Take that ABC! (ABC banned Adam from performing on Good Morning America after he "shocked and disgusted" many Americans with his androgynous debut on the American Music Awards. Whatevs. The problem with that performance is not that Adam was trying to shock and awe with the same kind of "is he gay? is he bi?" routine put on by Prince, Madonna, Lady Gaga and others before him, but the fact that he felt the need to scream and screech through the whole song when in fact it actually sounds really good as a regular studio track.

* Thank you. Thank you. Thank you America. You finally realized what I've been telling you all along. Rihanna sucks. Her dismal performance at the aforementioned American Music Awards definitely proved that so hopefully she'll fade away soon enough. (I know, I know. It's just wishful thinking.) However, it's definitely a big news story in that she almost didn't make the top 5 AND she didn't even sell a third of the amount of albums Scottish sweetheart Susan Boyle did.

* PLATINUM WATCH NEWS - Miley Cyrus is only 70K units away (and considering the jump she made this week, she'll probably be able to pull that off next week), Michael Jackson is only 110K units away, and Carrie Underwood, Michael Buble, Susan Boyle, and Andrea Bocelli are all 300K away. Usually I'd say 300K away would mean they are 1-2 months away from hitting platinum if they can keep up strong sales (platinum = one million units sold) BUT Susan Boyle might just hit that tally next week if she plays her cards right.

* Total sales have risen by about 1.6 MILLION UNITS this week (are you taking my advice?). FAN-TAS-TIC! As I said before, music is a beautiful, inspiriing thing (and a great gift for the upcoming holiday season), so don't steal it! :)

Jennifer Lopez' New Single Cover For That Horrific "Louboutins" Song

MISS TLC SAYS: Hmm. No. I believe Christian Louboutin would be rolling in his grave if he were dead. So let's just say this instead: "Cut to Christian in his bathrobe drinking an espresso and reading my site (what? he does!)... 'SACRE BLEU!!! Est ce poussin fou???'" [look it up]

A Miss TLC Thanksgiving Wish

Happy Thanksgiving Everybody! Remember to be good to your families, cherish the time spent together, and don't eat too much (you want to keep fitting in your hottest clothes come New Year's Eve, right?)! ;)

Lady Gaga No Likey Yonkers

MISS TLC SAYS: Hilarious and perfectly played. Kudos to Gaga.

Foodie News

Minute Maid has updated their packaging.....



...I kinda like it. It's definitely better than the misstep Tropicana made some months back.

Meredith Viera Is In Heat

On a recent episode of "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?", host Meredith Viera flirted with a good-looking military man who was chosen as a contestant.....



MISS TLC SAYS: Tres inappropriate. I know some people will just say she was having fun with him, but c'mon now. A horny old woman? Ridiculous. Calm down Viera.

Leighton Meester - "Somebody To Love" (Reprised)

MISS TLC SAYS: I'm sorry, but I just needed to revisit this video one more time. It's done SO well, and it's SO hot, and Ms. Meester truly is very Miss TLC-like in that screenshot above.

If U Are Worried Enough About The Issue That U Would Spend $$$ To Test Your Decaf Coffee, Then U Probably Shouldn't Bother Drinking Coffee At All

For those of you out there with high blood pressure, anxiety and/or issues with caffeine, this new product may be for you:

Caffeine Strips

MISS TLC SAYS: I don't know about you, but the fact that this product was even invented raises some flags for me. If someone somewhere believed that there was really a need and a market for this, then I wouldn't really trust the fact that anyone's getting truly decaffeinated coffee anywhere. My advice is this - if you have a health condition that requires you to cut caffeine out of your life, don't drink coffee and/or soda and/or tea period. It's better to start working on weaning yourself off of those things in their entirety instead of worrying and testing the supposedly "decaf" products you are served.

A Miss TLC New Video Alert - Lady Gaga "Bad Romance"

MISS TLC SAYS: I think this song is crazy corny, but I think this is her best video yet. There is a direct lineage to it, and there are elements of the movies "A Clockwork Orange" and "Taken". Also, this is the first time that she is truly showing her full face front and center through most of the vid. Yeah... maybe she shouldn't do that. Hahaha. Just joking... maybe. (You know Miss TLC. She loves to bring the bitchy.) Seriously though, they made her face look nice in the whitewashed/light-eyed/crying closeup scenes. On another note, I just saw a comment on a website about this video where the poster said "all of her stuff is eerily reminiscent of early Marilyn Manson". Wow. I SO agree. It's the same look, vibe, and character, just played to dance/pop music instead of industrial rock/pop. "Beautiful People" anyone?

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